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The Economic Downturn Daiquiri

A cocktail to help you forget Markets tumbling as collective hope loses all liquidity

Ingredients:

  • 2 oz Aged Rum (from the last time things felt stable)
  • 1 oz lime juice (squeezed from unpaid interns)
  • ¾ oz Simple Syrup (for frugality)
  • 3 drops bitters made from regret
  • Garnish with shredded retirement projections

Instructions:

  1. Shake while reading your savings account out loud.
  2. Strain over rapidly melting ice.
  3. Serve with a paper straw you can’t afford to replace.

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